in your 40s

The perfect storm in your 40s: are you in it?

There is much about motherhood and parenting you aren’t told before you get into it and it’s too late to back out, but one warning that certainly isn’t issued is that if you have kids in your 30s, you’ll  be caught in a perfect storm of hormones and stress in your 40s. My mum was of the generation of women …

more than mother

Don’t call me mother (ep #44)

For the record, there are only two people in the world who are entitled to define me as a mother. They’re my kids. For the rest of the world: don’t call me mother. Don’t misinterpret my sentiment here: I love my kids, I’m proud to be their mother, I am blessed to have them and to be having this life …

new you

New Year, not a new you

It’s not even the end of January and I’m already exhausted. I’m exhausted by all the New Year, New You malarkey that has flooded my inbox and social feed. Everywhere I look is someone exalting the benefits of turning me into someone new. The thing is, I don’t want to be someone else. I like me. I think the me …

when does a girl's potential disappear

When does a girl’s potential disappear? (Ep #39)

It’s that time of the year of school presentation nights and final farewells for the Yr 12s, where schools across the country applaud the achievements of their hardest working or top performing students. Sitting in the audience of my kids’ school, I marvelled at the magnificence of many, many kids and their achievements. Among them were a significant number of …

middle age

Middle aged? My middle finger I am!

My little darlings informed me recently that I was ‘middle-aged’. While my brain screamed “WTF?” my mouth worded: “Excuse me?” Apparently the topic had been discussed in Miss 12’s Year 7 health ed class and at 45, I slotted into the bracket of middle age. The look on my face soon had my Mr 10 clarifying that actually, “Dad is …

Perfectionism is fear by another name

This week, my daughter and I both learned a lesson in perfectionism and letting go. She’s not aware of it, but I am – her lessons are my lessons too, or so I am learning. A small slip up one morning, one that really was of no consequence and not of her own fault but caused by a lack of information, …

Stop using the f-word

For a long time, over the past year or so, I’ve been trying not to use the f-word. Not that one. I say that all the time. Most likely I always will. I’m talking about the other f-word – fine. It was my default response to all the common questions – how are you, how are you going, how’s things, how’s …

You’re not the only one to feel bad

Why is it that we always feel like we’re the only ones? That we’re alone in our struggles, doubts, anxieties and guilt? Because without a doubt … we are all the same in these feelings. I asked readers to answer four questions in a quick survey. I read with a heavy heart the same answer after answer. You were all …

Is this it? Is this all there is now?

Have you ever asked yourself that question – ‘is THIS it’? Secretly felt alarmed that your perfectly normal life is not fulfilling, doesn’t measure up in some way, is unexciting, and exhausting? Wondered if this is it for you from now on? And then felt ashamed for having those thoughts because really, you should be grateful for being a mum? I have. It’s part …

Have you labelled yourself?

We all attach labels to ourselves – it is how we describe who we are – but we can become too attached to a label for our own good. The label of mother is particularly intoxicating to some of us and when it becomes that way, we can lose any perspective of our own lives and can undermine all our …

Fatigued to fabulous in simple steps

Just over two years ago, I was sitting on the side of my bed, fatigued and overwhelmed, my head in hands, wondering how I was going to get through the rest of the day. I was exhausted, had aches and pains and felt way older than I actually was and it was making me feel miserable. The thought of where I might end …