Here’s a heads up for you: it’s not your workload or to do list that’s the problem. Not really.
As an anti-busyness crusader (yep, my new title) there’s much I could say against your workload, and I invariably will. Because mostly, women are trying to do way too much, at a cost to their health and happiness.
But, if you’re raising kids, and applying yourself to that task, which I know you are, then you are going to be busy. There’s just no way around that. And if you’re working as well, as I know many of you are, then you’re going to be even busier again.
Motherhood is busy. There’s always going to be something to do. Always. That to do list you despair over – it’s never going away. It may differ slightly on any given day, but it ain’t ever going to disappear. Don’t get me wrong – you can trim it down significantly, but while you’re responsible for the wellbeing of other people, as you are as a mum, then you are not just running your life, you’re running the lives of those around you too. So you’re thinking and acting for several people.
So, you’re busy and until you can offload your offspring, it’s going to be that way. That load you’re carrying is here to stay for a bit. And that’s OK, because the trick to feeling OK about it isn’t to offload absolutely everything, but to look at the way you carry the load instead.
It’s not the load itself that wears you down, it’s the way you carry it.
You can struggle with the load, absolutely.
Or you can carry it with strength, ease and grace.
The difference comes down to self-care.
If you are tired, worn down, overwhelmed, strung out, impatient, overweight and generally feeling miserable about yourself or your life, then hey-ho! You are going to find the load you’re carrying painfully heavy.
You will struggle with it. You will resent it. You will rant and rave, lose your patience, feel guilt and shame for snapping at your kids and husband, and you will feel despair at how you feel unable to cope.
Look after yourself though, and it’s a different picture. When you eat well and rest well, you live well. You have energy and strength to carry your load with ease and grace.
You can manage your busyness from a completely different level. And you are also more likely to have the head space and mindset to say no to what doesn’t really serve you. So not only can you carry your load, but you have the clarity of thought to lighten it as well.
So instead of focusing on the load you’re carrying, focus instead on the way you’re carrying it. Are you giving yourself the best chance of managing, or are you sabotaging yourself?
Before you decide to runaway to join the circus because it seems like the only answer, be honest with yourself about the effort you are making for you.
In order to carry your load well, start with these tips:[unordered_list style=”green-dot”]
- Eat well. Vegetables and fruit, good quality protein. Avoid too much caffeine. Avoid gluten for a while.
- Go to bed before 10pm.
- Limit screen time.
- Take rest periods during the day – five minute bursts is often enough. Sit in the sun, walk around the block, meditate in the car.
- Practice gratitude – twice a day consider three things you are grateful for.
- Move a little. Stretch every hour. Walk once a day. Do a handstand. Do the weeding. Play 52 pick-up. Whatever, but move your body a little.
You can carry your load without becoming worn down. Strengthen yourself so that the load becomes effortless.
What are your thoughts? Can you add to the tip list? Please leave a comment below – I’d love to hear from you 🙂